London without the queue

Stay in one area and learn it. South of the river — Bermondsey, Borough, Peckham — eats well and reaches the centre quickly. North, King’s Cross has been rebuilt into something useful, Clerkenwell still has a working grain, and Hackney is a long walk from the postcard. The West End is for theatres, not for sleeping, unless you like crowds as a lullaby.

Walk the river at least once, but not as a forced march from Westminster to Tower Bridge with every pier in between. Choose a stretch: South Bank in the late light, or Greenwich if you want the maritime city, or Hammersmith if you want London to feel like a town.

Day one, on foot from your neighbourhood into one free museum, and out again while you are still interested. Day two, a market lunch and a single ticketed thing you actually want — a play, a football ground tour, a special exhibition, Kew if the weather is kind. Day three, a borough that is not Westminster: Greenwich, Richmond, or the City on a weekend when the streets empty and the churches open. Day four, leave. The train stations are part of the city. King’s Cross, Paddington and St Pancras are better endings than another museum shop.

Use buses when you are tired of tunnels. They show you the streets you would have missed. Download nothing exotic: contactless payment and a willingness to ask which door are enough.

The London Eye is a view you can get from Primrose Hill, Greenwich Park or the Sky Garden, the last of which is free if you book. Madame Tussauds is wax. Harrods is a shop. Platform 9¾ is a queue for a photograph of a queue.

The Tower, Westminster Abbey and a full state-room palace are worth it if castles and churches are your subject. They are not obligatory proof that you came. If you do one, do it at opening, with a timed ticket, and then go eat somewhere that does not face the ticket hall.